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Confirmed: Being serious sucks!

Hondo

by Hondo

The Too Hard Squad brings the pain/gain!

People who take themselves too serious are so annoying. And there’s lots of them in snowboarding. That’s why the Too Hard chicks are so refreshing. They definitely don’t take themselves too serious, and this 6 minute edit they just put out of themselves eating shit is proof.

It’s creative, it’s refreshing, it’s a little funny, and it’s really awesome.

While everyone in snowboarding is being serious and nostalgic, these chicks are doing it for the kids!

Too Hard: #nochill from danyale patterson on Vimeo.

Middle-aged for the Establishment!

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

Volcom guts its team and turns fully into what it once despised.

Every movement has an end, I suppose. It is just a true bummer that our Volcom, our Youth Against Establishment, has turned fully and completely into Middle-aged for the Establishment. Not fun uncle middle-aged either. Depressed, penny-pinching, balding-due-stress middle-aged.

Shit and grouchy and smug middle-aged.

It has been whispered/rumored through the channels that the brand cut or released the bulk of its snow team, quietly dispensing of Mark Landvik, Dan Brisse, Gabe Ferguson, Christy Prior, Chandler Hunt and Brock Crouch over the past few months on top of key figures who have been with the Stone since the earliest days.

A brutal and heartless gutting.

And Volcom today represents the very worst of what has happened to snow and surf over the past decade. The dream was sold. Great for those who cashed out on IPOs etc but not for the labels left behind to groan under the weight of unachievable growth.

One by one the brands that have gone public or been bought by holding companies have faltered and Volcom has fallen all the way down, pissing its chinos on the floor. If you recall it went public in 2005 and raised $89 million. Six years later the French luxury group Kering tendered a friendly takeover bid essentially purchasing the Stone for $600 million.

It has since turned into a wheezing old bastard. A goofy invalid forced to do strange dances for its French overlords who neither know or care about anything but profit. “Why pay kids to slide on snow?” they ask and nobody has a good answer because there is no good answer. It was a miracle that anyone ever got paid in the first place but that’s what made it fun right? Snow, surf and skate are nonsensical! They are weird little kicks practiced by kids who aren’t team oriented enough to play real sports!

They are the fucking derelict dream!

And the riders always represented this better than anyone else. Cutting their heads off to save some money here might make fiscal sense on paper but it counters the essence of the dream. And giving up on the dream equals middle-aged cubicle bullshit. It equals the Establishment.

The main snowboarding media (Transworld, Snowboarder, etc.) are left keep the illusion that things are all good because they are trying to hang on to the last strings of financial solvency so leave the decapitations of Lando, Brisse, Gabe Ferguson, Christy Prior, Chandler Hunt and Brock Crouch hushed.

But things are not good.

Volcom is now officially what it was once against. It is true to nothing but greed. Fuck it. Not the 1991 version but today’s ugly French shell.

Fuck it good and all the way to hell.

Bastards: Surfers are the worst!

Hondo

by Hondo

Snowboarding and snowboarders are better in every single way!

People talk shit on snowboarding. It’s an unfortunate truth, but it is the truth. But why? Sure we wear silly outfits when we snowboard but, like, it’s to keep us warm and dry (for the most part, some though are just bad and deserved to get made fun of…) and sure we are attached to the board, but you know what, who cares? It’s the best.

One thing though is that if you work in snowboarding, you probably live in SoCal. And if you live in SoCal, you probably have to deal with surfers. Now snowboarding might get made fun of, but holy shit are surfers the worst.

And here’s why:

Surfers are a bunch of Christopher Columbuses!

The bastards think they’re the shit because they’re the “original” board sport*… Well you know what bleach blond bro from San Clemente?

You didn’t invent shit! You’re just a cultural appropriator!

We as snowboarders know that we didn’t invent shit. We’re just doing our thing and love it. And if you’re down you’re down.

*If you’re Hawaiian you get a pass on this one…

Surfers just wear neoprene or shorts. Running around the beach with your bros in a skin-tight suit!

Sick lol. Sure we may not wear the coolest outfits when we are snowboarding but at least we can wear it to the store to buy some beers when we are done.

Surfers are fucking assholes!

Have you ever met a group of surfers? Well, prepared to get vibed out harder than you have ever been vibed in your life. Since we, as snowboarders, have been getting ragged on for years we are a pretty nice bunch. Granted, if you’re a kook you will get vibed out. But, like, it’s easy, just don’t be a kook.

They think they can do whatever they want cause they’re surfers!

“Oooooooo I surf and know a lot about surfing so let me start a snowboard site cause if I know about surfing I must know about snowboarding oooooooooooooo…”

They’re all so tan and buff and get chicks!

Ok I guess that part is pretty cool, but seriously fuck them.

Fuck them all.

Surfer seen enjoying the snow.

Surfer seen enjoying the snow.

Revealed: Jackson before Travis Rice!

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

Travis Rice is a certainly a tall tale but did you know he did not invent Jackson Hole?

Did you know that Jackson Hole Mountain, the world’s most loved cowboy snow resort, existed before the very famous Travis Rice was even born? It’s true, though maybe difficult to believe seeing that Travis once used a rattlesnake named Shake as a lasso and another snake as a little whip. His snowboard, Widow-Maker (also called Lib-Tech), was so named because no other man could ride it and live. Dynamite is said to be his favorite food. It is also said Travis sometimes rides a cougar instead of a snowboard.

On one of his adventures, Travis managed to lasso an avalanche. It is also said that he once wrestled the Bear Lake Monster for several days until he finally defeated it and discovered the Bear Lake Monster’s real name was Mark Landvik.

Travis has done a lot but he did not invent the Grand Tetons.

Come watch this sepia footage from the olden days (1997). It is called Foreshadow, which is an apt title and by the wonderful Willie McMillon!

Yeeehaw!

FORESHADOW from willie mcmillon on Vimeo.

Just in: Todd Richards a perfect car mate!

Chas Smith

by Chas Smith

"He smelled fresh from his shower!"

Nearly a week ago from today LodgeGrit was thrust upon an unsuspecting world and what fun we’ve had so far! Right?

Who could forget such hits as Gimme: Some of that Icy Wine! or Willie McMillon’s Neat Fuckin’ Stories! A fan favorite was Top 5 Worst Pro Snowboarders…to spend 6 hours in a car with on the way to Mammoth!

J-Dizzle liked it so much she/he wrote:

Hands down worst article I’ve ever read. Has nothing to do with snowboarding, isn’t even funny, and honestly just shitty writing skills. If you were going for satire, you fell flat on your face. Look for a new job.

Part of the beef maybe had to do with Todd Richards inclusion.

“Fuck that dude…” the author Hamilton Bridges wrote. “…Could you be more irrelevant? What are you like 75 now?”

But apparently Mr. Bridges was wrong and this account, pulled from Facebook, seems to suggest that Todd Richards is an ideal car mate. Shall we read?

I used to ride from Boulder to Summit or Vail in the winters with Todd Richards. He showed up when he said, stopped for coffee and drove like an Andretti.

He smelled fresh from his shower. His girlfriend was fresh and clean too. He didn’t talk about himself, except to share some funny stories. He didn’t burp or cup rippers.

He was an adult.

That was back in the day when we wanted to grow up, stand on our own feet and by our accomplishments.

I am proud to know a founder of the sport.

He is one guy who lives life.

It is like poetry and I hope that Hamilton Bridges feels fairly awful.