Blood Feud: Too Hard vs. Full Moon!

A bitter old man weighs in on two hot movements!

Look ladies, there’s enough fake shit going on in this world right now. Watching a bunch of privileged white kids pretending to be gangster is just retarded and played. We’ve already seen it a million times in snowboarding, and at the mall. Strapping on a helmet to impale your vagina on a handrail is not gangster.

Although I believe more people should smoke weed, gratuitous shots of smoking weed is not “hard” either. “The most important thing in snowboarding” as claimed on their damned instagram account.

Fuck off.

Granted there is some gnarly shit in their latest video, just fucking tone it down a little. Quit trying to sell a fake image. Be yourself, be real, you’ll go a lot farther in this world. Your “squad” is blowing up right now. Don’t let it go to your heads. Just be humble and let your riding do the talking. The youth will be looking to you for your leadership. Don’t litter the world with entitled cocky shit heads thinking the world owes them something.

We got plenty of those already.

I know you all are just having fun, trying to find yourselves. But bring some real shit, or don’t bring it at all. Maybe these ladies are just playing a joke on everyone.

Maybe the joke is on me.

Don’t really care either way.

With that said, the only female crew in the spotlight I’m backing is the Full Moon gals. These are the true fucking Gs. They can ride snowmobiles and shred actual mountains with actual style. With the best of them.

None are selling any bullshit image.

They let their riding speak for them. These women are what’s good in female snowboarding. They aren’t jocks, just true shredders.They honor the bad ass females who came before them and paved the way. They can ride anything but choose to be in the mountains. Where the real shit is. Hats off, mad respect.

I’m gonna go shoot myself in the dick before the “Too Hard Squad” does.

Yobeat hates The Fourth Phase J/K!

Come read the most gorgeously passive-aggressive film review ever!

Do you like passive-aggressivity? Do you like it when, say, a Starbucks barista fills your coffee all the way to the tippy-top because you told him the first cup tasted yuck at it burns your hand?

Or when you ask a teenaged boy if he could move out of your way and he moves at one centimeter per second while staring at his phone with an 🙁 face?

Do you like passive-aggressivity in your film reviews? Yobeat’s Under Review: The Fourth Phase is a masterpiece of the genre! Would you like to read all the passive-aggressive bits back to back to back?

This op-ed is going to make me sound like a hater and I really don’t want that. I have a tremendous amount of respect not only for Travis but for everyone else associated with this production… except for maybe Red Bull, but I’ll save that for another discussion.

I feel like (Travis Rice) is a great dude to have at the forefront of snowboarding. What he and the other world-class riders in this film are capable of is nothing short of jaw dropping, but I still couldn’t make it more than 10 minutes into this film last night without my eyelids getting heavy, and my brain getting bored…

I want to like Fourth Phase; I really do. But, and I’m saying this with tremendous respect, the film just fell short for me last night. I was let down. I was disappointed.

I realize that this movie is for the kid who wants to show his parents and grandparents snowboarding so they can say “WOW!!!! THAT IS AMAZING!!! THAT IS EXTREME!!! THAT IS DANGEROUS!!!” but is that where we’re at in snowboarding these days?

I blame Red Bull mostly.

And I can hear the people flaming me already, “But Red Bull has done sooo much for action sports!!!!” and you’re right, they have.

Films like the Fourth Phase are amazing visual journeys no doubt, but the problem is, they aren’t accessible.

I guess I just prefer films and edits that are more accessible. Stuff like Liam Gallagher’s ‘Search for a Cool Place’, Warp Wave’s ‘A Place Called Kookabunga’, Work Shirt’s ‘Close to Home’, and the all girls film ‘Full Moon’ and of course the classic Robot Food trilogy do way more to make me actually want to go snowboarding with my friends and speak to what I think this lifestyle is all about than any offering from Red Bull or another larger production company ever has.

But hell, that’s just like my opinion….man.

Do you like it when you ask a teenaged girl if you can sit in an empty seat next to her and she says, “It’s a free country…” but then turns her back on you and stares at her phone with an 🙁 face?

It’s the best!

Sage drinking a big glass of Icy wine.

Gimme: Some of that Icy Wine!

You wanna be cool this season? Well do ya punk?

Move along Monster, get the fuck out of the way Red Bull, Drink Water you’re boring, there’s a new beverage taking snowboarding by storm, and it’s called Icy Wine.

It seems like every few seasons there’s a new drink that takes snowboarding by storm. There was PBR’s a long time ago, then there were 4lokos, then fireball was all the rage, and for a few years the guys at Snowboarder Magazine have been trying to make slamming cosmos a thing. But all that shit is whack.

It’s uncivilized, and we like to think of ourselves as people of class and dignity. That’s why we are happy to announce that there’s a new drink for this winter. A delicious drink, a quenching drink, and it’s oh so easy to make.

All you need is some of the cheapest red wine you can find, a glass, and some ice. Then just pour, and enjoy…


A photo of Sage Kotsenburg texting me to "throw up the photo of him drinking icy wine"
A photo of Sage Kotsenburg texting me to “throw up the photo of him drinking icy wine”


Yours truly, a chick, and a pint glass full of the Icy-ness
Yours truly, a chick, and a pint glass full of the Icy-ness


A polish bro, Halldor Helgason and Stan enjoying a fine glass of Icy Wine
A polish bro, Halldor Helgason and Stan enjoying a fine glass of Icy Wine


Mark Wiittanen, Snowboard Videographer extraordinaire and "Pink Man" raging with the Icy Wine
Mark Wiittanen, Snowboard Videographer extraordinaire and “Pink Man” raging with the Icy Wine


Joe Sexton sucking down some Icy Wine
Joe Sexton sucking down some Icy Wine


Follow @icywine_official on your Insta to keep up with the hot trend!

Politics: The “nasty woman” loves you!

Nobody has more respect for snowboarders than her. Tremendous respect. Huge.

Since the day he announced his candidacy back in the spring of 2015, Trump has worked hard to establish the fact that he’s the most inept, uninformed, unprepared, ignorant, sexist, racist, and dangerous candidate in U.S. history. He’s a global embarrassment, proudly anti-intellectual, anti-free speech, and just ugly in every way. But none of this is news.

We’re getting close to election day. His chances of victory, ha! now very slim. And though nobody loves Clinton, she will take it. Nonetheless, all you registered voters who also self-identify as snowboarders, ought to consider the following if you plan to dismiss yourself from the vote or plan to cast your ballot for the Comb-Over Clown: He hates snowboarders & he hates snowboarding.

How do we know? He said so.

On November 6, 2012, he tweeted: “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.”

January 1, 2014:
“This very expensive GLOBAL WARMING bullshit has got to stop. Our planet is freezing, record low temps,and our GW scientists are stuck in ice.”

January 25, 2014:
“NBC News just called it the great freeze – coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the GLOBAL WARMING HOAX?”

January 26, 2014
“Any and all weather events are used by the GLOBAL WARMING HOAXSTERS to justify higher taxes to save our planet! They don’t believe it $$$$!”

For everyone with open eyes and no aversion to the facts & research of the global science community, we know Dumb Donald is wrong. Receding glaciers, Record high global temperatures, Record low snowpack. Later-starting & warmer winters. Longer, hotter summers. Record high CO2 levels in the atmosphere. He’s so wrong. But worse than being willfully ignorant & dead wrong on climate change, is his energy “plan.” Here’s a few chunks of shit we scraped off his campaign website:

Open onshore and offshore leasing on federal lands, eliminate moratorium on coal leasing, and open shale energy deposits.

This means Arctic drilling, destruction of natural habitats, more fracking, and new coal mines the world doesn’t need and the market won’t support.

Unleash America’s $50 trillion in untapped shale, oil, and natural gas reserves, plus hundreds of years in clean coal reserves.

Yeah. Fracking, natural gas, & clean coal. Welcome back to 1902. Not a single mention of clean energy investment. Nothing. No solar, no wind, no hydro. Just a backward looking non-plan with zero specifics on how he plans to somehow magically revive the dying & completely outdated fossil fuel industry. But it’s no surprise. This is how he’ll supposedly #MAGA.

Here’s the point: come November 8, vote for snowboarding. Vote Hillary. And no, not that dipshit Gary Johnson or Jill Stein—your precious little protest vote will only narrow the gap between Tic-Tac Trump and President-elect Clinton.

“I won’t let anyone take us backward, deny our economy the benefits of harnessing a clean energy future, or force our children to endure the catastrophe that would result from unchecked climate change.”

-Hillary, November 29, 2015

Gimme: A Master Debater! And Liberace!

Start your season in style!

Right when I was writing about shitty collaborations…like, literally right (with the Grateful Dead + John Mayer feat. Greg Dacyshyn), THIS popped into my heart!


Liberace! Mr. Showmanship! Lee (to his friends and lovers (Matt Damon))!

Do it get any better? Let’s read the press release!

Lib Tech and Travis Rice (in cooperation with the Liberace Foundation for the Performing and Creative Arts) are proud to release the T.Rice Pro Yahnker Edition!
Tonight at the final presidential debate on the eve of November’s election we find out who the best master debater is.

To celebrate the coming of the master debater we are launching the limited edition T. Rice Pro Yahnker boards. What’s a T. Rice Pro Yahnker board you ask? Well it’s Lib Ripper Travis Rice’s (you know… “The Fourth Phase”!!) collaboration with visual artist Eric Yahnker (@ericyahnker) a seminal satirical pop culture artist. Yahnker juxtaposes powerful iconography breaking down barriers using humor and beauty to create a healthy discourse. Such is the power of art in all it’s forms whether it be the art of beautiful pop imagery on canvas or the art of flight when Travis gets the perfect pop off the lip or even the art of the political debate where polarizing titans of American communication butt heads on important issues until eventually spiraling down in to an endless feedback loop of middle school “your mamas fat” jokes.

You gotta just take it in, laugh a little and form your own opinion. The T. Rice Pro Yahnker Edition might be just what you need to stay engaged and stay fun. Featuring two of Yahnker’s most iconic pieces of satire the “Honorable Discharge” on the 157 with blunt shape and the “Soaked Statue” on the 161.5 pointy. Both with a base graphic featuring our master of ceremonies Liberace himself seemingly amused at the current brand of American circus.

You want? Buy here!

But if you bold you can win one! Here’s how!

The election is just around the corner and the choice is yours. Blunt or pointy? All terrain freestyle or big mountain freestyle? Pants suit or toupee? Your vote is part of your voice and we want to hear you! So much so that we’re giving away a set of these the limited edition T. Rice Pro Yahnker boards to one lucky voter!

All you have to do is:

1. Vote.

2. Get the “I Voted” sticker.

3. Take a RADICAL picture of you with your sticker.

4. Post it to Instagram with the hashtag #masterdebater16.

Travis will randomly choose the winner on election day! So get to voting and you too can be a master debater!

Do you feel lucky, punk? Well do ya?

The dream! She lives!
The dream! She lives!