Are you a pro? Did you start a brand? Did it fail? Join the club!
Pros always like to start brands. Don’t know why, but they always do. Maybe it’s the mindset like “Oh hey I was a “marketing consultant” for this brand, now I’m an expert and so let’s do this…”
But then real life comes along, bites them in the ass, and poof back to normal…. Now don’t get us wrong, the brands are fucking sick. It’s awesome DIY ethos, it’s punk rock, and it’s dope. But like it’s really hard to do something and run a business when you’ve spent your whole life traveling the world snowboarding, chasing chicks, and partying.
These are our top 5 brands that pros have started that didn’t work:
Elevation– Chris Engelsman was every tall snowboarders favorite snowboarder, and even he couldn’t make it last…
Forecast- Really? Pat Milberry? Does this look like the face of a business owner?
Omatic- Give us a fucking break Todd…
M3- These guys were the fucking shit for a while. But then they went to M4 and then to something else, and tbh they might still be around as some version. But you lost us with the M3 to M4…
Public Snowboards- Lol sorry Joe, I had to hahahahhhhh
You can play with him instead of playing with yourself!
Do you enjoy playing with yourself? Have you ever been caught? Like, someone walking in right when you are giving ‘er hell? I think it might happen to Todd Richards sometimes. I saw him playing with himself on Instagram once.
And I bet it is going to happen to Mark McMorris all the time. Like, I bet he will play with himself multiple times a day. But guess what? You can play with him too and as much as you want!
Today, Mark McMorris Infinite Air drops for your X-Box One, Playstation whatever, etc. Let’s read about it!
Infinite Air is the first open-world, physics-based snowboarding video game built in close collaboration with top pro-snowboarder, Mark McMorris. With dedication to recreating the authenticity and excitement of the snowboarding experience, Infinite Air features an all-star lineup of six highly talented pro-snowboarders available to play in-game, including X Games Gold medalists Silje Norendal, Torstein Horgmo, Danny Davis, along with notable pro-snowboarders, Ulrik Badertscher and Craig McMorris.
In Infinite Air, players will be able to use their imagination to carve out their own unique tracks in pristine powdery courses. Offering over 100 square miles of vast backcountry terrain across massive procedurally generated mountains, the options are near endless and guarantee that no course will ever be the same. Not even the high alpine snowy mountain tops are out of reach as the helicopter will allow players to land in any location offered in the game.
That sounds fantastic! Do you think Todd Richards is jealous? He looks a little jealous.
Buy your Mark McMorris Infinite Air wherever video games are sold and get jerking that joystick!
Here’s the deal. And we are just talking pro snowboarding. And maybe surfing too. Oh and tennis. If you are hot as fuck, you can suck pretty fucking bad at what you do and probably live a lavish lifestyle.
Unless you’re Craig Anderson.
Or Rafael Nadal.
Or Lisa Andersen.
Now if you are ugly as fuck then you’d better better be good.
…There are exceptions in snowboarding too. Hot as fuck AND bad as shit.
Take Helen Schettini for example.
She is hot as fuck and bad as shit. Any girl who can follow a bunch of rowdy Canadian dudes around the gnarl-ass Whistler backcountry on a snowmobile, is a top notch gal. Not to mention, a run-on sentence provoker.
This girl don’t waste her time in the park or impaling her vagina on rails. No, she’s too busy ripping lines and spinning off cliffs. So this month’s Lodgegrit Hot as Fuck, Bad as Shit™ Award goes to Helen Schettini!
Tune in next week to find out Who’s up for the 2016 Lodgegrit Ugly as Fuck, Bad as Shit™ October Award.