A new rumor floats through my ears which suggest Volcom didn't decapitate Mark "Lando" Landvik! Hallelujah!
What was your favorite part of The Fourth Phase? Mine was Travis Rice resurrecting from an avalanche. A man in the crowd screamed, “He’s a god!” And that man was right. Such cinema! Such heart-tugging up n down action! Such god-like core muscles!
My second favorite part, though, was any time Mark “Lando” Landvik was on screen. Not only does the Alaskan soar like a bird, his comedy timing is impeccable. Like, he should maybe get fired from snowboarding and be forced to Hollywood with a tear-stained Volcom rucksack over his shoulder. I have no doubt that he would soon be starring in better films than Adam Sandler + Jim Carrey combined.
And earlier today I thought he did get fired by Volcom. My wonderful inside source told me that his head was on the block and whoooosh! Down came the blade. And there by the grace of God went Lando’s head.
I cried some though also looked forward to the near future when Daddy’s Got Back! would open in theaters. (It’s a comedy concept I’ve been working on featuring Lando as an aspiring hip hop music video dancer and his stuffy wife, played by Jen Aniston, who just don’t get it).
But it has been rumored by another source I refer to as Deeper Throat that Lando may, in fact, still be on the team! A resurrection from the dead that beats Travis’s!
I hope this rumor is true because I love Lando but I also hope it isn’t true because I want to get to work on Daddy’s Got Back!