Theft: The U.S. stole the snowboard!

Thieves! We are unrepentant thieves!

The history of snowboarding, who exactly first turned sideways on one plank down a hill, etc. is shrouded in the wonderful mists of time. Tom Sims and Jake Burton and the snurfer guy and all of them credited and all of them deserving of praise and all of them patriotic Yankees.

Yes, snowboarding is as American as apple pie. As Bruce Springsteen. As baseball. As the colors red, white and blue. As the Ford F-150. As Donald J. Trump’s combover. As the Big Mac. As U and S and A.

But wait!

Wait one goddamned second!

Apparently they were snowboarding in Turkey some 300 years ago. Making snowboarding as Turkish as hammams. As pashas. As the Hagia Sophia. As the Bosphorus. As Ottomans. As Young Turks. As Turkish delight.

Here’s video proof…

Here's lookin at you kid!

Choco-Ass: Make Small Things Big Again!

Have you ever ridden a snowskate? Come marvel at a master at work!

We’re a few days behind but Terje is always a few steps ahead. Whether he’s riding a snowboard, surfboard, skateboard, or some combination all three, old Uncle T makes it nice. His new snowskating edit is stacked.

Of course everyone has already had this up but helllllloooo! Mammoth? Come watch here! Or do yourself a flavor and watch again!

(Fun fact: Did you know Terje’s Instagram handle @chocorompe means “choco ass” in Norwegian? Now you can win Jeopardy!)

Modern man: Shred in Lululemon!

Baby it's cold outside. Come get warm with this sick gear!

Are you a man? Who totally loves when autumn hits so you can go to Starbucks and get all your favorite pumpkin spice treats? Like a vanilla pumpkin spice Frappuccino? Or a dulce du leche pumpkin spice latte? Do you need dedicated “me time” every week? Maybe a mani-pedi followed by anything Sarah-Jessica Parker? Or a long walk in the park with a little dog? Or SoulCycle n chill?

Well now there is outerwear label for your snow missions!

You may know Lululemon from your wife/girlfriend’s yoga drawer but now the Vancouver-based brand is making shells and puffies waterproof and warm enough for the worst weather Aspen can throw.

Boys’ trip!

Just imagine! A snuggly cabin tucked off the cat track. Pumpkin spice hot chocolate n chill. Chair gossip. OMG. Apres. Etc.

Lululemon! True to Siss!

And now, also, you can tick Lululemon off as a potential advertiser alongside Volcom and Burton for your fifth favorite snow website LodgeGrit. Do you think Volcom and Burton like being in the same basket as Lululemon? Do you think they are snuggling and keeping each other warm while drinking pumpkin spice hot chocolates?

Watch: Fuck football (part 2)!

Can't shred? Ride Mark Zuckerberg instead!

If you’re lucky enough to live in the now more places that have snow already (hello Mammoth!), good for you! You can spend your last day of this extended weekend buttering & switch carving.

The rest of us are still stuck with relatives (get lost!) and football. But fuck football! If the gluttony has you pinned to the couch, watch a couple of these classics instead.

Robot Food’s Afterbang 2002

Bozwreck 3000 2010

Pepping 2012

Black Friday: Canadians lose minds!

Blood! Mayhem! Crazy good deals!

You know Black Friday. It is the day when consumers lose their minds over door busting sales. Ripping each other’s limbs off to get that big screen TV or toaster oven. Clawing each other’s eyes out to get that X-Box One or GoPro Karma drone (j/k).

You know Canadians. People who are known for being wild. Crazy. Totally out of control. Sure they have wonderful mountains like Bald Face, Whistler, etc. but they also have nuts attitudes. Always pushing the boundaries of good taste.

And so it makes sense on Black Friday that Canadians absolutely lose the plot. Watch as they storm a Best Buy, trampling each other in order to get deals.

Chuckle up your sleeve.

Canadians. What will they do next?