Help: “My wife’s ex-husband is a pro!”

Who once front-flipped a moving train (I think).

I married a legendary professional snowboarder named after a Greek goddess who turned men to swine. She jumped off cliffs, out of helicopters and once pulled a challenger’s pants down and then punched her in the nose.

If that is not enough, her ex-husband is an even more legendary professional snowboarder who front-flipped a moving train, modeled for Ralph Lauren and is current snowboard mogul champion of the world, having held the title for 25 years and counting.

I am pretty ok. Probably exactly average.

Like, I can now ride powder but a make-a-wish kid once thrashed me the first time I tried. In front of my wife.

And ummmm I cannnnn ummmmmmmmmmmmmm like…….. I don’t know. Not fall off when the chair reaches its end.

What if you got showed up by your woman’s ex every time you touched snow? How would you feel?

I can show you.

Film: “Raw, homemade, feral!”

Sound like wonderful porn? Maybe it is! And feat. Nick Russell, Wyatt Stasinos, Cory Stasinos, Jeremy Jones, Forrest Shearer + more!

Snowboarding movies matter only to us. Only ever have and only ever will, despite the best efforts of energy drink purveyors and extreme sports TV broadcasters. This intangible “general public” or “crossover enthusiast” is a figment. People hate cold weather & snow shovels.

So predictably negative, I know. Please disagree citing the need to “grow the audience” with “relatable” content. Parrot that old industry refrain, “it’s a lifestyle.”  But also, ask yourself: if you were flipping through the channels, would you randomly stop scrolling to watch an hour-long, action-based golf movie?

How about bowling?


It of course follows then, that those rare and rarefied, overhyped and over-produced big budget snow films can only fall flat. The heart, soul & truth of snowboarding snuffed out by lofty cinematic ambitions. Extinguished by expectations. By pandering to those who don’t get it.

So then. The alternative becomes obvious. Let’s see the raw, the homemade, the pure. FREE, is a good example; a homegrown and homemade analog snowboard film from a crew of feral adventurers that includes Nick Russell, Wyatt Stasinos, Cory Stasinos, Jeremy Jones, Forrest Shearer & some friends. It’s shot all on beautifully crusty 16mm and Super 8 film. Japan, Chile, Alaska.

No bullshit. Just a group of pals in far-off lands wearing funny hats and pillaging powder.

See the World Premiere on October 27th in Tahoe City, California

FREE- Trailer from Wonderberry on Vimeo.

Yikes: “The stoke grabbed Andy!”

A father x son snowboarding trip goes horribly awry. Let this be a lesson to all.

Winter’s coming, fuck yeah! You can feel it in the air. It’s brisk when you wake up, there’s a little frost, things are looking up. But when the snow finally does fall, don’t let the stoke grab you too hard like it grabbed Andy!

Let this video keep you in bounds and totally aware!

Opinion: Separate us from skiiers!

Another take on Lindsey Vonn's Trump moment!

The other day the skier Lindsey Vonn said “I’m trying to be politically correct here. I do like snowboarders but I think it’d be super-great if we could have a little separation.” I read this, and honestly it didn’t even register as anything, but then I started scrolling through Facebook, and Instagram, and there was post after post about this, from top professional snowboarders.

The Full Moon Film girls called out Vonn, inviting her to their premiere, and made this super long post about having a “separate roped off zone for her, alluding to her comments.

But here’s the thing: who cares if she wants different mountains for skiing and snowboarding? Like would that really be a bad thing? Do you want to hang with whack, pompous skiers? Do you want to chill and hang with a bunch of jocks that just don’t get it?

I know I don’t, and I really don’t give a fuck about what they have to say either. The battle between skiers and snowboarders is over.

All Lindsey Vonn is, is a kook on a radio show.

Flashback: Sochi is heaven on earth!

Let's meander down memory lane. All the way to Sochi!

Do you remember two years back when the world’s finest snow athletes traveled all the way to Sochi, Russia? I did because I was there, covering the Games for Esquire. Let’s re-live!

SOCHI, Russia — I checked into my dacha late last night. It hugs the Caucasus Mountains a mere five kilometers from Polyana Krasnaya or “The Mountain Cluster” of these Olympic Games. And I realized, as I set my suitcase on its marble floor, that any journalist complaints about Sochi must be coming from the unimaginative or those who married poorly.

My dacha has a baby grand piano. It has a swimming pool heated to a perfect 80 degrees. It has a Russian masseuse, who gives a “Russian Strength Massage,” on call 24 hours a day, and it has a refrigerator stocked with ice-cold beer. The reason it is so well-appointed is because the hotel grounds, upon which it sits, are owned by Gazprom, one of the world’s largest companies.

Gazprom is based in Moscow and accounts for 17% of all natural gas production. They pumped 32 million tons of crude oil last year. They own airlines, media, banks, the Pik Hotel and my dacha. Its valuation hovers around $100 billion and its taste in design is luxurious. My dacha’s whirlpool bathtub has gold fixtures set against forest green tile.

Yet I would not be here had I not married my important and successful sports agent wife. She has an eye for talent and signed Russian-born snowboarder, and potential gold medalist, Iouri Podlatchikov. Even though he rides for the Swiss team, he is a Russian darling. He is the reason I am mixing a perfect Stolichnaya martini on a mahogany bar.

And even though Gazprom is one of the world’s largest companies, it is in a bit of hot water due to corruption. The Moscow Times recently reported that, “In their private reports, investment bankers write cautiously that they consider 70 percent of Gazprom’s capital investment ‘value destruction,’ which is their euphemism for corruption and waste.” The Economist reported last March that, “(Gazprom’s) costs are startlingly high. It treats its executives generously: a 2008 tender, for example, included a solarium and a special bath for horses. It buys supplies in an idiosyncratic fashion, too.” Independent think tanks and evaluators consider that Gazprom loses some 50 billion dollars a year to corruption and waste.

Corruption is bad, I know, I know, and waste is a shame, I know, I know. The journalists love to crow about the $50 billion spent on these Games and the yellow water in their sinks and the unfinished floors in their rooms. But I drove on that $7 billion road late night and it was as smooth as butter. So smooth, in fact, that my jet lagged one-year old daughter slept like a sweet angel. I saw the mountain town, built just three years ago, and the snowboard course and the ski jumping venue today and it all looks like a futuristic alpine dream. I watched Torah Bright (one of my wife’s other clients and the most beautiful competitor) in women’s slope style while sitting in the most comfortable outdoor arena, listening to a bagpipe band play AC/DC’s Thunderstruck, and felt happy.

At the end of the day, who is to say what is waste and what is necessary? The United States government spent $400,000 last year studying duck penises and has over $17 trillion in debt. And I just bought a pair of Balmain jeans. Right now I am getting ready to chase my Stolichnaya martini with a chilled bottle of Laurent-Perrier champagne that has been chilling in a sterling silver bucket all afternoon. It will be delicious.