Halloween: Nazi zombies in Norway!

Chas Smith

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Just when you thought it was safe to go to Lillehammer!

Did you know that during World War II the Nazi regime brutally occupied Norway? The German army quickly swept through the country in 1940, characteristically slaying all who stood up to its amphetamine fueled xenophobia.

Why was Hitler interested in Norway?

According to The History Learning Site:

Control of Norway’s extensive coastline would have been very important in the battle for control of the North Sea and easing the passage of German warships and submarines into the Atlantic. The control of Norway would also aid Germany’s ability to import iron ore from Sweden.

But maybe there was more? Maybe the Nazi soldiers wanted to get their rocks off and shred Lillehammer?

A film depicts a group of kids running into some Nazis that were left behind. It’s an older film but it’s new to me. Watch the trailer if you never want to sleep again. Also take some amphetamine if you never want to sleep for a few days.

Boo: Bloodbath of Frenzied Carnage!

Muzzey

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It's halloween. Frank Bourgeoise wants to melt your face.

Frank Bourgeois is a cool, calculated killer known for brutally attacking spots, eviscerating them and leaving them for dead. His weapon of choice, hammers. The likely victim: your self-esteem.

Next to the word tabernac in the Dictionnaire Quebecois-Français, there’s a picture of Frank’s smiling face.

Is there remorse in his eyes?

Not a trace.

Press play and watch him crush.

Party: There’s a blizzard in Tahoe!

Clegg

By

BYOB!

Squaw etc. opens in less than two week and as of today things are looking very promising. Snow is falling and it is falling thick. The locals, no doubt, thrilled.

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Tahoe’s resorts are set to open in the next few weeks and what will you do if you live in California or the Pacific Northwest? Will you blow off work/school/work/family and head for an early taste or will you take a wait and see approach?

I recommend you getting while you can. Or to quote my good and great friend Tony Montana:

All I have is my balls and my word and I don’t break ’em for no one.

Watch this and quit your job in the morning.

Apocalypse: Let’s pair with Scotty Lago!

Chas Smith

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The end of the world is nigh. Who's gonna be on your A-Team?

The world is sure a crazy place right now ain’t it though? ISIS, Zika, Trump, Brexit, global warming, Monsanto + Bayer, immigration crises, Trump + Putin, etc. If you squint it kinda looks like the apocalypse.

Wait.

Is it the apocalypse?

I think maybe yes and if I’ve learned anything from The Walking Dead it’s good to have a team during the end of the world and so I started to think… who do I want to pair with?

I don’t want anyone lily-livered. I don’t want anyone too depressive. I don’t want anyone with the same lousy skill set that I have (‘tween us, I have no skills).

I want Scotty Lago!

The stylish bronze medalist from New Hampshire wears a beard better than anyone, knows his way around camouflage face paint and is very very smart about his firearms. Reading his Instagram comments it seems like lots of people don’t understand/appreciate his gun appreciation but I will tell you what, Scotty is the ideal gun owner. He is conscientious as he is careful. He says on the National Rifle Association’s blog:

I feel like nowadays people are getting soft and feeling a need to be so politically correct. I respect that not everyone is going to love hunting and firearms. At the same time, I wish those people would respect our love for it. It is part of our country’s history, it is a culture and it is my way of life. The country is so divided on this…and that bums me out.

The silver lining is that hunting season is right around the corner and I couldn’t be more excited!

I want to be in his duck blind when the zombies start their march!

Porn: It’s better than college football!

Chas Smith

By

Vacation Forever will make you want to drop out (if you go to college)!

Who’s your favorite college football team? Are they still competing for the national championship or is your team’s bloody moose carcass lying on the side of the road somewhere very rural? Did you know that Travis Rice has a sky alter thing at his house where he puts roadkill so the hawks etc. can come feast in his Wyoming yard?

Do you think people who live in Wyoming get bummed that they have no real college football teams to cheer for? Do you think they cheer for Washington? Did you know that I’m cheering for Washington this year because my wonderful friend Cory Lake’s brother coaches their linebackers? Did you know Cory Lake used to design snowboard boots for DC?

Here’s some snow porn from BYND x MDLS called Vacation Forever. It features Tor Lundstrom, Kevin Backstrom, Max Buri, Sebbe De Buck, Ulrik Badertscher, and David Djite. It will make you hyped!